


Mr Darcy, Eat Your Hart Out

by AuthentiKait



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Erection, Harry is a gallant little shit, M/M, Merlin's done with everyone's shit, Pining, Pre-relationship hartwin, Roxy is a scheming little shit, The wet shirt AU no one asked for
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-18
Updated: 2016-06-18
Packaged: 2018-07-15 18:33:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7233937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuthentiKait/pseuds/AuthentiKait
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So Eggsy may have been pushed/fallen into the HQ pool.</p><p>Luckily there's always someone who's all too willing to save the day.</p><p>With a dripping wet, transparent shirt, of course.</p><p>Eggsy couldn't ask for much more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mr Darcy, Eat Your Hart Out

**Author's Note:**

> This silly little AU came from a conversation with the lovely doctor-w0t on Tumblr (she's amazing), during a conversation about the benefits of, you guessed it, wet shirts.

HQ has a pool.

  
A really, really big bloody pool.

Eggsy hadn't had an encounter with HQ's resident body of water before. What with the recruit's pop quiz of water survival being held in their sleeping quarters rather than your standard aquatic area. And the matter of his rigorous Kingsman training, along with his subsequent failure, the death of Harry Hart, and then the saving of the world after everything went tits up had left very little time to get acquainted with every square inch of the Kingsman grounds.

Well, this pool was a bit more than a square inch. More of a square ocean, truth be told, as Eggsy's stands by its edge, mouth open slightly, Roxy by his side looking a tad less gobsmacked. She'd been quite incredulous upon learning Eggsy had never seen the pool before when she'd accidentally brought it up in conversation a few minutes prior in the common room.

"I'm still astounded you went through over a year of Kingsman training without so much as hearing a whisper of it," Roxy continues, looking at Eggsy as he gapes, spellbound by the sheer amount of water in front of him. "Over 5,000 kilolitres of water is a bit hard to miss".

"Five-" Eggsy's eye bulge as he meets Roxy's gaze, sheer awe on his face.

"Well since one end is lowered-" Roxy gestures to the end of the pool on their right, which, acting as a ramp,  gently sloped into the pool's depths (for training purposes, of course, sometimes you just have to drive a car into a pool). "-So the mass of the concrete ramp definitely takes off some kilolitres in the depths".

"That's fuckin' wicked," Eggsy breathed, as the murmur of approaching voices sounded in his ears. Peering around Roxy, his stomach did the usual flipflop at the sight of a very much alive Harry Hart, deep in conversation with Merlin as the pair strolled across the HQ lawns in the vague direction of the pool.

Harry raises his hand is greeting, and Eggsy returns the gesture, feeling his heart rate already being to pick up. Oh for fuck's sake. So he's had it bad for Harry for quite a while now-  what? When a bloke beats up your scumbag stepdad and his goons, also happens to be a hot motherfucker and  a gentleman, there's bound to be some feelings somewhere. And then, when aforementioned gentleman goes and gets himself shot in the head, only to resurface with minor injuries a few days later, it took all that a bruv had in him to not race straight up to Harry, grab him by his big, broad shoulders, and kiss the living daylights out of him.

Eggsy's not stupid though. He knows he hasn't got even half a chance with someone like Harry- he's a chav, for fuck's sake, and Harry's, well... Harry's Harry. A gentleman first and foremost, gorgeous with a killer personality, some legs of pure sin, and those shoulders-

Eggsy has to forcibly shake himself out of his daydreaming and turn his attention back to Roxy. She's not stupid, having clued on to Eggsy's less-than-platonic feelings towards his mentor pretty much straight after Harry got knocked out for a couple of months with the whole Professor Arnold incident. Still, all she gives him is a knowing look, eyebrows arching. Because, despite her protestations that Harry's face lit up when he saw Eggsy, and that he always made any excuse to spend time with him, along with various other bits of 'evidence', Eggsy wasn't having a bar of it. As if. He'd play it safe thanks, and just keep ogling the man's arse from a safe distance. Because come on, it was a truly spectacular bum.

"So 'ow deep does this thing go?" He asks Roxy faintly, eyes still fixated upon Harry's approaching figure. Fuck, he's fit, laughing at something Merlin was saying, the corners of his eyes crinkling so sweetly-

"Why don't you find out for yourself?" Roxy says cheekily, and before Eggsy even has a chance to refocus on exactly what she's saying, two hands give him a quick shove. And, arms wheeling comically fast in an effort to stay upright, Eggsy drops into the pool with a resounding splash, fully clothed.

It's fucking freezing in the water, being an overcast October day, and quite dark too. Once Eggsy recovers from the shock of being suddenly underwater, he takes a look around barely noticing the sting of the water in his eyes. And fuck me, if the pool had seemed huge out of it, when you were in it, it was bloody enormous. The bottom seems so far away beneath his feet, blurry and dark, whilst the ramp-less end of the pool is equally as distant and distorted.

Eggsy's still awestruck by the sheer size, when something bumps into him from behind, making him jolt. A muscular arm wraps around his chest, and he holds on for dear life as a warm body drags his waterlogged form up to the shining surface of the water. Gulping lungfuls of air, hiccoughing slightly, Eggsy turns just in time to note his rescuer, who, tucking Eggsy under one arm, is paddling them both in the direction of the ramp, a short distance away.

It's Harry. Soaking wet, dark chestnut hair plastered to his scalp, glasses perched on the end of his dripping nose, suit jacket, vest and tie  discarded on the pool's edge. Eggsy connects two and two with a flush of embarrassment just as Harry meets his eyes, smiling reassuringly. Adjusting his grip on Eggsy just as he finds his footing, the older man walks slowly up the pool ramp and out of the water, Eggsy held bridal style in his capable arms.

Setting Eggsy down on his feet a safe distance from the pool's edge, Harry's face immediately becomes concerned, gripping Eggsy's upper arms gently.

"Are you alright, my dear boy?"

"M'fine, 'Arry," he hears himself say, wiping one sodden coatsleeve over his face to dispel the water droplets. And also because he's bloody hoping the cold cloth will cool his core body temperature down even just a little.

Because Harry Hart hadn't just carried Eggsy like he weighed next to nothing out of a feezing pool. He also happened to be soaked to the skin. And a very white, very transparent business shirt was sticking to said skin very, very  tightly.

"Are you quite sure? I just saw that you'd fallen in, and swimming in water-logged clothes is no easy task, let alone a kevlar bespoke suit, so I-"

Harry's taken a step back, rambling in the adorable way that he does as Merlin and Roxy come to a stop near them both, but Eggsy's having quite some difficulty concentrating, and keeping his eyes upright.

He's never seen Harry shirtless before. The man was far too proper for that. The closest Eggsy'd gotten to seeing him in any stage of undress was in that dressing gown when Harry woke from his coma.

But fuck, if Harry wasn't shirtless, this was pretty damn close. Every single line, every sinewy curve of muscle. Wet fabric sticking like glue to those broad, broad shoulders, rippling arms...

Eggsy's hoping to dear God he isn't gaping as he takes it all in, oblivious to all else. What he'd give to run a hand over that chest, to touch the dark hairs barely visible beneath the shirt, down the sharp incline to that slim waist- oh shit, he's half hard, the heat in his groin a contrast to the biting cold everywhere else. Thank fuck he was still wearing his suit jacket, sodden as it was.

Merlin thrusts a towel he's conjured from nowhere in Eggsy's face, and the fluffy material breaks him out of the gawking stupor slightly. Wrapping the sigiled-towel around his shaking shoulders in an attempt to trap some warmth, he now watches Harry, on the receiving end of a towel himself, along with his shed articles of clothing.  Turning his attention to the unabashed Roxy, Harry pushes up the sleeves of his business shirt to his elbows, exposing even more skin. And what gorgeous, tanned skin it was.

Jesus.

"I was unaware that Eggsy would be indulging in a impromptu swim," the older man addresses Roxy, but the tone of his words is light and teasing. Eggsy has to bury his face in the towel's fabric for a moment, wiping his glasses free of water in an effort to keep his jaw from falling off its hinges.

"He looked like he needed a bath," shrugged Roxy, biting her lip to keep from smiling as she deflects a punch to the arm from Eggsy.

"Alrigh', tha's enough. Yeh're done playing knight in shining armour for one day" Merlin interjects suddenly, giving Harry what seemed to be a reproachful glance. The handler's clutching his clipboard closer to his chest than usual, but it's probably because Kingsman tech and nearby bodies of water don't mix well. Well as far as Eggsy knew, anyway- the glasses were waterproof. Merlin's clipboard? Unlikely.

"Galahad," he addresses Eggsy, "Clean yehself up. There's a much drier suit waiting for yeh in the barracks".

Eggsy nods, eyes downcast as Merlin then looks to Roxy.

"An' Lancelot? Do try not t' cause any unnecessary aquatic ventures. I'd much appreciate it". Roxy inclines her head, but the corners of her mouth are twitching. Eggsy sneaks a glance at the would-be sex god that is Harry Hart to see that despite a blank expression, his eyes are dancing with amusement.

Merlin turns on his heel to stride back towards HQ, giving Harry a clap on the shoulder. "C'mon, Arthur. Yeh've got a nice stack of paperwork waiting for yeh in the office".

"How delightful," Harry mutters, meeting Eggsy's eyes with a knowing look that sends a splinter of electricity up the younger man's spine.

"I suggest you go and get changed, dear boy.  You'll catch your death in wet clothes". And with those parting words, Harry's trailing after Merlin, towel flung over one shoulder, dry clothes clutched in one hand. And those wet ones are still doing wonders for his figure. Eggsy's gobsmacked, eyes glued to back, legs, and most prominently, Harry's goddamn bum.

It's only when that fine figure has grown rather smaller in the distance, and he's regained some of his inhibitions  that Eggsy delivers a sound punch to Roxy's arm, the latter letting a squeak of pain escape her.

"Twat," Eggsy tells her, shaking his head exasperatedly as she rubs her arm grouchily.

"Oi, you should be thanking me, rather than punching me," Roxy argues as they set off on Merlin and Harry's trail, Eggsy's shoes squelching across the grass. "I got you the Harry Hart: Mr Darcy edition experience. White shirt, dripping wet, all up close and personal..."

"Fuck off," Eggsy snaps, but there's a hint of humour in his tone that he'll never admit to. And maybe a touch of gratitude amidst the annoyance.

He's still a little shell-shocked, truth be told. So it's for that reason that Eggsy will say he's not opposed to being pushed into that ginormous pool again. Quite regularly, in fact.

Only so long as Harry's around to fish him out.

 


End file.
